Tag Archives: voice inside

‘At times it feels like we are in a hole…’

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8-14-16

Dear –

My name is —. I’m currently at Wake Correctional in Raleigh. I’m writing you in response to the article that was in last week’s newspaper. I want to begin by saying thank you to you and the whole Inside-Outside Alliance and to all the organizations and people that are involved with the protest and rallies that you all are doing. And I believe that I speak for the majority of the inmates in prison, if not all, when I say that what you’re doing is so very great. At times it feels like we are in a hole with no way of getting out. With very little contact or help from the world. But it’s groups like yours that give us all a little more hope in life. I want to share a little of my story with you and I’m completely ok with you sharing it with people if you’d like. Since 1999 I’ve been in and out of prison 5 times. And in and out of jail I’m not exactly sure how many times. All because of being on drugs. I was a drug addict of all drugs really. Some more than others. But drug addict none the less. Each prison sentence I was given got longer and longer. I’ve been in since October 2011 now. And I have about 57 more months left before I go home. Each time I’ve been to prison is because of stealing to support my drug habit. Every time I got locked up in jail I would ask for help. To be send to a rehab. I was pretty much accepted to TROSA once. But the judge wouldn’t allow me to go get help. The only treatment I’ve had was a 90 day AND90 program at Burgaw prison in 2006. That program is a joke. A waste of taxpayers’ money. Nobody can begin to get clean in 90 days. Not even in a year. It takes time and help. But the system feels like they are doing something major by having that program. Anyway for the first time in a very long time, I decided to get clean in 2011. And I’ve been clean since. From drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. And I work hard to stay that way. Since the first prison sentence I ever done until now, the wages that are paid to prisoners for jobs are still the same. Very, very little money. And the prices of everything in the canteen have more than tripled on most things, from food to hygiene. The prices for medical have went up. And they charge us taxes on the gift money that our families send us. And I believe that gift money is supposed to be tax free. And on top of that, since we have to pay taxes on items from the canteen we should be allowed to have our families file for those taxes on their income taxes. But we’re not able to. If we get a write up then we are charged $10.00 And they write us up for simple things a lot. Like not having our shirt tails tucked in. For having an extra pair of socks or boxers or pants. We get wrote up for feeding the wild geese and deer. What kind of write up is that? They treat our families like criminal when they come to visit us. And the list goes on and on. There is no reason worth this type of treatment. They put us in the hole for simple things. And for 15 to 100 days depending on the write ups. The federal prisons have ipads for inmates to email their families. And they pay inmates for the work they do. The prison system don’t have any type of real resources to help inmates when they are released. We have to have a way to get to the DMV to get an I.D. And we have to have an I.D. to get a place to stay, cash checks and other things. You are right, prison is a modern day slavery. And the prison is a bad place for people with drug problems. They lock us up off the street from being drug addicts. And with no help to get clean, they throw us in a prison which is full of drugs, that are possibly brought in by the guards or administration…And when we use drugs we fail drug tests, and when we fail drug tests we are written up for failing a drug test, and then put in the hole for a minimum of 30 days. These are just a few of the many problems in prison. One more problem is that there are a lot of prisons like Pender, Sampson, Harnett, etc., that don’t have A/C. And it gets 100 degrees or more in the dorms. The prison won’t put in A/C because we are inmates. But the animal rights activist will have a national standoof/protest if an animal shelter don’t have A/C. So if a dog or a cat has to have A/C then why don’t a human being have that right? Anyway, these are just some things that maybe you’d like to know. And I do hope that you’ll keep up the protests and help that you are giving us. It is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for all that you do. Be safe and take care!

Sincerely,

E.G.L.

‘I can’t believe the health department hasn’t looked at these trays…’

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8-13-16

Hey —

I do hope you are as well as can be! It was good to hear from you. I’m hangin in here and quickly approaching the 1000th day of incarceration in DCJ. It sucks the big one in here, but that’s how it goes for a person that has an extremely high bond and that’s fighting for their freedom. Don’t take a plea for something you didn’t do and sit and rot in jail. They will get their time out of you one way or another. I’m with the others on the hating the food situation. This soy they got coming to us is not enough to make you not even eat your tray. Recently, I’ve been noticing that the trays haven’t been washed thoroughly. So they bring us this slop to eat and you will see remnants of grits from breakfast and brownies from lunch that they didn’t clean good enough. Also, another issue is the trays themselves. Since I have been here (going on 31 months) and actually in 2008 I was here and saw the same type of trays. They haven’t replaced them. The lids in particular are hollow and many of them get full of water and dish soap. So you might get a tray and the lid weighs 5-10 pounds. Then you might get another that’s not full of water. This water drains out on your food. I have held one up and let water and old soap drain out on the floor. Most times if you inspect the food there are little bubbles with soap residue where something hasn’t been washed or that these old plastic trays/lids have leaked stagnant/soapy water out in our food. I can’t believe the health department hasn’t looked at these trays after and in between meals. It’s fucking disgusting to say the least. I mean a dude might blow his nose and put the tissue on these trays and it goes back down to the kitchen to be washed and they half-ass spray it down. We need new trays in the kitchen that our food comes to us on. And we need new dishwashers. These guys are fellows that probably never had a job on the street and couldn’t keep one if they did. They don’t give a damn about their fellow inmates, or their own cleanliness. I bet these guys have homes that are disgusting and have cockroaches running around, pizza boxes stacked up in the corner and endless lines of piss ants marching around everywhere. Savages. I wouldn’t mind throwing them in the sink and scalding them with their sprayer that is plenty powerful enough to clean our trays we eat on and that can easily remove old food. Bastards smh. Ask around on the tray situation. Oh, one more thing. There hasn’t been a toilet brush in this block 5-C in over a year and a half. I got some funk in my toilet that looks like it’s gonna grown arms and climb out of the bowl. I have had to clean it with my hands and a rag. Looks like I’ll have to continue. Drains still clogged in 5-C and overflowing their filth for us to inhale. Sewer gas is supposed to be vented by code (by law), yet it vents in our block and we inhale these toxic vapors. I may as well tell you about the carpet that was removed in 5-C. It was peeled up months ago, but the adhesive remains. People scuff their feet on it and chairs slide on it. Then janitors sweep over top of it. So with that being said, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the particles that are scuffed up (being tiny pieces of adhesive) are becoming airborne. Do they give us dust masks? No. Is that adhesive safe to breathe? One could tell that it’s airborne because when we sweep anywhere in this block, including our rooms, there’s tiny pieces of this yellow adhesive. It wouldn’t take but some remover, scrapers ,and a few swingin dicks to scrape and the jail would have successfully completed a task of removing what they started removing. I’ll stop now. Hopefully these concerns can help clean this place up, if you care to voice them. I have spread the word of your mission and will continue to do so…Thanks.

B.

‘Coffee is like air, and sleep the cousin of death…’

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As my daily routine changes, coffee has become like air, and sleep has become the cousin of death. I’ve been operating on 3 to 6 hours of sleep, my revolutionary studies have reached an all-time high. I currently have been disregarding individuals whose presence only waste time, and I’ve been spending more time preaching my outlook/standpoint on social issues and conditions we face. In any area, my vision has been clearing up by the day, my self-discipline  been worked on also daily. Noticing my influence, I’ve also been trying to tap into the other brothers’ consciousness.
Continue reading →

‘We get to the point it makes us give up on a lot of things…’

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Hope that we’re being heard!!!

Sorry I wrote back so late. To answer your question, yes I did hear about some of the protests outside of the jail and I do wanna thank you for being an ear to hear some of these voices that needed to be heard, ya feel me…Things for me are going ok, just a little bit, just ready to hit the yard and get this shit over with. As a 16 year old I’m not really going through that much, just made that they’re holding me for something I didn’t do…A lot of us are being held for something they can’t prove at all. And a guy just shot the police down in the intake area about a month ago and was released on pre-trial release…Me personally don’t think that’s fair at all, and feel something needs to be done ASAP #100. How do you get 18 yrs for one robbery you can’t prove, but get out on pre-trial release or 5 or 6 years for shooting an officer. Shit really doesn’t make any sense at all, but it’s fine, the judge and  the DA really don’t give 2 shits about us. Just another black man off the streets is all that matters to them!!! A lot of us get so cold-hearted and stressed out to the point where it makes us give up on a lot of things and so much anger and stress gets built up and makes us do something we would regret.

They also need to give us our 9:00 walk back, or at least give us 15-minute phone calls because 10 minutes aren’t enough when talking to family about something important…It’s so much in here that needs to be changed as quick as possible and I really hope that something will be done.

I just wanna add something that I’ve learned since I been in here…

Attitude—The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill…It will make or break a company, a church, a home…the remarkable thing is we make a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one thing we have and this is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And it is with you J We are in charge of our attitude.

Free the guys:

Tazz, Blueeyes, OB, J-rocc, Shy, Sosa, ShoNuff, Myself, RugaBlue, Loca, O-dogg, Messiah, Starrboy, Silk

As y’all know I took my time see yall on the outside world. I’ll be home in 30 months.

God Bless the Strong!!!

-HF

They need a price check–ASAP

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To Who May Concern,

Who in the fuck charges a black man of a crime and put a bond on him of one million dollars? So, basically you’ve made one’s freedom worth one million dollars–that’s just one arrest out of many a day. That shit not even logical. Help this city, it’s sad. No help.  Continue reading →

‘Unprofessional behavior that is unbelievable’: a letter to Chief Judge Marcia Morey

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we received this letter and were asked to send it to the judge and to post it online. 

Chief District Court Judge Marcia H. Morey

14th District Court, Durham County Justice Center

510 S. Dillard St.

Durham, NC 27701

 

May 21, 2016

To: Chief District Court Judge Marcia Morey

This is the president of the First Five Grieving Committee of the Durham County Jail. We are a grieving committee (of jail inmates) that works hand in hand and outside of the Durham Co. Jail. We also work with families, friends, the media and the health department. We also publish any grievance that is not solved on the internet and with the news media. We are writing you this courtesy letter so you can be aware that we have found so much evidence of unprofessional behavior that is unbelievable. Continue reading →

‘I try to keep my hate in check. If you can’t hate, you can’t love.’

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Kropotkin wrote a lot on the wrongs of prisons. These two paragraphs hit the nail on the head for me. Sadly I feel these effects.

The theory of will power

“There is another important cause of demoralization in prisons. All transgressions of accepted moral standards may be ascribed to lack of a strong will. the majority of inmates of prisons are people who did not have sufficient strength to resist the temptations surrounding them or to control a passion which momentarily carried them away. In prisons as in monasteries, everything is done to kill a man’s will. Continue reading →

‘This is state-sponsored or funded madmen’

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The following letter is from a state inmate who was serving time in Durham jail until he suffered a major hip injury in an altercation with other inmates.

Hey —,

Got your letter, thanks. I also got a letter from — that’s part of IOA. He liked something I said. It made me happy. It is a true blessing to have found like-minded folks out there. It was strange for years, I was like, “Are y’all reading this shit?” All my friends like to drink. It has destroyed my life. They maintain. They agree, but it is hard when you are fear stricken. Where I lived with my buddy for years in Durham on Vickers Ave, walking distance to the jail in 10 min. Anyway, we got tickets for having a beer on the sidewalk while we were working on a broken truck. Continue reading →

‘Obviously jail isn’t a place for anyone’

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What’s good man? My fault for writing back late. Just had a lot on my mind lately. I’ve been fine since I been in here, met a lot of cool people (believe it or not) but overall fine. Personally I like the switch to 8 hours a day, cause it makes my time go by faster. To be honest, screw the detention officers, as long as they don’t put they hands on me I’m fine. I kept looking at your letter on my desk like damn I should write back, it came to me one night, I was blessed for you to write me so I should return the favor. Continue reading →

Exposing the Indecency of a Trusted System

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11-23-14

Greetings “free” society and my fellow captives.

Anthony McInnis here, sounding an alarm loud enough to reach all tax paying citizens of Durham and remaining counties. In 2013, I was booked into Durham County Detention Center on a case that should have been a misdemeanor. Due to my consistent stance to refuse plea offers for active time and an inability to post bond, I remained in jail for eleven months. In N. Carolina, the accumulation of a criminal background basically guarantees you a prison term, partly because you’re sick of having to endure such a dehumanizing experience, but mainly because we usually can’t afford a paid lawyer

The whole community needs to know that: Durham County inmates spend almost eighteen hours a day in cells that remain cold year round. Two inmates often share a cell designed for only one man. Meals by Aramark are almost inhumane with no fruit and processed meat patties. Dinner consists of two sandwiches (thin) and an excuse for dessert. It is served at four pm and breakfast does not arrive until six am (13 hours!). Meals are served on trays and lids that are completely outdated and contain dishwater from weeks earlier. Inmates load these trays each day assembly-line style and carry out all the duties of the food service process. They do not earn money nor does any other man on jail work detail.

Now let us consider the following points:

  • N. Carolina acquires over 85% of its court convictions from those who accept plea offers.
  • Today, significant numbers of young Black males are populating the jail, particularly 16, 17, and 18 year olds.
  • No other group has been affected by American criminal justice like the Black community.
  • At least 80% of the incarcerated in the state are Black males.

It is simply impossible to justify the mass incarceration of over 2.1 million people in America, the vast majority of them Blacks who represent only 12% of the total population.

– Chapel Hill Resident,

Anthony McInnis

#0270116

P.O. Box 839

Vanceboro, NC 28586