‘Dashawn Evans death has touched me in a strong way…’

Whassup how are you? First off my love and and support goes out o Dashawn Evans and his family. Just reading the pamphlet it got my head spinning. I show my woman of my first born child when she came to visitation what we go through. All I can do is pray because God has bless me with my first son and I wanna be there for him and not him suffer without his biological father like I did. Dashawn Evans death has touched me in a strong way and it hurts to know that it could’ve been me or any other brothers. I don’t care if u black, white, chinese or even hispanic. I learn being incarcerated to love thy neighbor  – its too much evil in this world. I wish what I did never happened but when you become a pawn on the devil’s chessboard don’t no good come from it. I don’t like it. I see my brothers wake up faithfully because of the grace of God, but actually no one wants to even get out their pod cuz this place is depressing. Bad enough how we get fed is pitiful. Like, come on, they feed us like we babies at daycare. Like on 6/27/18 my dinner tray had soup, but it looked like somebody scoop some of it back off the tray and I had a piece of cornbread about the size of a newborn’s hand. Many of us had about nothing on the tray. It is sad for the ones that don’t have commissary and their stomachs touching their backs down to the worn down blue mats. It’s sad, painful and people are tired of it. All this money Durham get, but where does it go? For real. It’s bad enough that this jail making money off of us, but worse to know people is dying in here. I thought coming here was to finally sit down and get our minds right, but how can that happen under these dysfunctional conditions? Every charge and incarceration I have received in Durham was under the influence of alcohol and drugs, but why is it that every time I try to get in a treatment programs there is all this unnecessary stuff added along. I’m asking for help but I don’t receive it. I thought I was safe and protected but I am not here. It’s no different than being on the streets and being gun down by police. Once again our lives in the hands of the government and we still suffer. This is crazy, but it’s reality. I just ask God to be with Dashawn and his family and all of us. I do have love for the staff in this jail, but I just think a lot of stuff needs to change. Instead of so quickly locking us back at 12:45 and 6:45 in the afternoon. I wanna be able to go home to my family that God bless me with. Thanks M. for asking my response cuz nobody else ask me how it is except my family. If you can send me some books to read, I write songs based on the stories I read, hear, and tell. – DYNESTE (God Bless Us All).

As You Walk Past

“As you walk past”

I’m poor and needy,

These hands dirty and greedy,

My clothes are old and worn,

unto poverty I was born,


I fight every day that I take breath,

I’ll keep fighting even until death,

I walk among shadows and I remain unseen,


The rich are death and blind it would seem,

Crime becomes a need to survive, or act upon

My thoughts of suicide,


People ask why I live

This way, I shake


My head not knowing what to say,

Do you know me? and do you even care?

Questions I ask as you walk past like I’m not even there,

Your world and mine are 2 different places,

As you walk past my face is just another among many faces.


By: Wallace Eubanks

“Our laws enslave and our leaders hold the leash”

So many things are happening in the free world. Many want change and seek it out, yet continue to climb the wall of oppression that we as people have build. I know that sounds impossible but it’s true. All our laws we bend and add to and do away with, when we fight to change these we dig deeper the hole that will soon be our grave. Once we were a “free nation” or so we claimed, yet people were enslaved. We boasted freedom and still do, but our laws enslave and our leaders hold the leash. We fight, they pull, we are divided not truly united. When as a whole nation have we stood together on the major issues we are faced within our own borders?

We elect officials to represent our countries, cities, states, and the whole nation, how many of them really stand up for the people? Do they walk through our ghettos, trailer parks, and homeless streets and ask what can they do for the very people they represent? They say kind words and give promises when it’s time to vote and when they are elected they become shadows and make excuses why they can’t uphold the promises made. By our laws we elect them and by our laws he is protected. We try to change them and they bend and remake them. It looks good at the time until the fine print plunges us back into darkness. My hope is this: never give up the pursuit of the true love for one another that makes us equal in every way. Only then will we truly have freedom.

Our world leaders are blinded by power and the “king of the hill” mentality. They fight one another to be the best, they do not see one another as equal, and is then passed down to the people of these nations. Hate is like cancer that spreads until it devours its host. It has spread all over the world into the hearts of many. We have done this to ourselves, generation after generation it has been passed down, yet I have Hope!

Love is far greater than any amount of hate. As a people we could make a difference and an impact greater than we could conceive. It must start with the individual, then as groups with like minds & hearts. Many fight for equality yet do not stand equal.

Groups fight independently for rights, when we we all should stand together. This sounds impossible in the world we live I know. Love binds together, hate spreads apart. Until we understand this as a people, I am afraid we will destroy what we are fighting so hard for. . .

I am so ready to face my freedom. These cells work in two ways: they “break down” and they “build up”. I am stronger behind all this. I want you to know I am grateful for your letters, C—. I wish more people would write, but I am thankful for what you I do here. I wish I had a steady female companion to exchange letters of hope and to possibly build upon other than the extreme loneliness that my heart has become used to. You must forgive me, my emotions sometimes get the best of me. I also like to speak my mind and feelings.

-Wallace Eubanks

“This is not your business”

It happened one week ago. One of us is gone – one of our male inmates. The tragedy in jail – again: another death. We are sorry and scared. Frustrated. And of course; needless to say; we want to know the truth; we want to know what happened. It would be so natural and respectful if the jail administration informed us about this tragedy. It’s so clear that it shouldn’t have to be proven. Because the lack of information produces gossip. And also it produces fear. Let me start. My tablemate told me: it was suicide. The teacher from one of my classes thinks this man just took the wrong medicine. One girl is literally terrified. When they found his body the blood was everywhere in the cell, she told me. So we incarcerated people trying to figure out about that and started to ask those working in here. We deserve to know the truth at least because it happened in here where we live!! in jail!! But the officials disagree with our natural curiosity. “No, you should not ask, it has nothing to do with you” – those are literally the words of an official (let’s say her name is Mary). “Oh big pardon, ma-am! We are STILL HERE and want to be SAFE!” This is not the first case of death around us. It is not even the second. Now, a young 23 year old man has died. It is unrevocable. It’s scary and horrible in itself and also because we are in potential danger. Nobody in here wants to help us. Is it hopeless or can you help????


By F.L.

PS: (different author) The staff here does not care about the well-being or respect or dignity of the inmates. it’s like the staff only cares that you are here to do your time. Nothing else.

Signed by the women’s pod (see photo)signatures-womenspod

Lock My Body, Not My Mind


I just wanna say thanks! For the support being that I only got two people who even think about me. I really ain’t have no choice coming to jail to be honest. I needed some kinda shelter. I’ve been homeless, looking for jobs, in and out of school programs since I drop-out of school. I’m still waiting to hear my verdict and hoping for it to be light weight on me. I like to draw sometimes when my concentration opens up. I’m just really concern about if I will be homeless coming out of jail, and struggle all over again. I’m really in desperate need of a stable foundation that could give me that jump start back in society.



Justice for Dashawn Evans who Died in the Durham Jail


On May 27th, 2018, 23-year-old Dashawn Devonte Evans was found dead in the Durham County Detention Facility. He was a healthy young man with a bright life ahead of him.

Over the last few days, people who knew Dashawn have shared information about his compassion, generosity, and commitment to his family. Statements from 9 members of Dashawn’s family are provided below.

As the family of Dashawn Evans moves forward in their struggle for justice in the Durham County Detention Center’s failure to keep Dashawn safe and alive while in their care, his family demands the following:

  • An independent investigation beyond the State Board of Investigation (SBI)
  • A copy of the SBI’s report based on its investigation
  • For the Durham County Sheriff, who is in charge of the Durham County Detention Center, to be held accountable for Dashawn’s death.

For anyone who would like to support Dashawn’s family during this difficult time, please consider donating to this GoFundMe to help the family cover funeral expenses and legal costs for an independent investigation:


Dashawn’s death is undeniably tragic, all the more so because it does not stand alone.  His death marks the seventh that has occurred in the jail since 2013, a reflection of the indifference and incompetence shown by the sheriff and many in the jail’s staff. We demand justice for Dashawn Evans and those before him: James Earl Staton Jr., Niecey Fennel, Matthew McCain, Raphael Bennet, Dennis McMurray, and Terry Lee. Their stories and testimony from their loved ones and fellow inmates are available on our blog. The jail must stop this pattern of neglect and abuse.  We cannot let them rest until it ends.

Please join the family for a PROTEST and press conference this Friday, June 1st, at 6pm, at the Durham jail.




Statements from Dashawn’s family – 5/29/18


Valisha Evans, Dashawn’s Aunt: “He’s going to be missed. I loved him. He was always smiling. He loved his family and his children.”


Karen Kirkland, Dashawn’s fiancé: “I want to say that he was a great father, and he will be truly missed. And he was my best friend. I love you, Dashawn.”


Venise Jones, Dashawn’s grandmother: “Dashawn was in jail for some problems, but I can promise you that he got a charge that he didn’t do. I know for a fact, because it was on his birthday, he did not do it. I can say, he is a good child. Everybody has good children, and most people’s children do stuff. But he still was a good dad. He was a good grandson. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for me. And I love him. Whatever it is [that happened in the jail], it will come out.”


Mercedes Jacobs, Dashawn’s sister: “I just want to say that, even though he grew up a little troubled, no matter how hard his life got, he always had a positive outlook or a game-plan and a big smile on his face. Everybody goes through stuff, but he was the type to get through it and not give up. I love my little brother, and I’m gonna miss him.”


Robert Miles, Dashawn’s cousin: “We had a lot of good times. We had a lot of bad times. One thing I can say about him: nobody in this family can out-gamble him! <laughter> He wasn’t a good child, he wasn’t a bad child. He was a family man. It’s sad that he’s gone. But it’s a blessing he’s somewhere peaceful. We don’t have to worry about him no more. But at the end of the day, what happened was wrong. He made sure everybody got taken care of. He loved his momma. He loved his kids. He’s gonna be truly missed.”


Shereka Evans, Dashawn’s cousin: “One thing Dashawn always did, when he saw me, was hug me. He always hugged me and told me that he loved me, regardless of anything. I will always remember that about him. He loved his family, and I know that he didn’t do anything to jeopardize himself being with his family. He did anything for anybody, whether it was a quarter, whether it was a bag of potato chips. It doesn’t matter what it was, he gave it. So, I know it was something wrong, what happened with my cousin. And we just want to get to the bottom of it, and make sure everybody has light and peace in this situation in the end.”


Lewis Jacobs, Dashawn’s father: “One thing I can say about my son is he’s a survivor. He’s always been a survivor through all kind of ups and downs. He’s a survivor and I love him to death. And I knew that he loved me and he loved his family.”


Sharnella McCrae, Dashawn’s cousin: “Growing up with Dashawn, you would never know what to expect. Dashawn was so active. Growing up around my house, my grandma had ten children, so there’s a lot of us on both sides of our family. He has a big family. So, Dashawn always was family oriented. Dashawn loved his family, loved both his grandmothers, loved his grandfathers. Dashawn loved to play. No matter whenever I’d see my cousin–if I’m driving down Main Street, Liberty Street, wherever I’m at–I can look out the window and say, ‘what up, Day-Day, what up, cuz, I love you!’ Every time we saw each other, we’d say ‘I love you.’ Even though he got on my nerves, when we departed from each other, we’d say we loved each other. No matter what it was, if I ever felt like I needed Dashawn, Dashawn would be there. I would be there for Dashawn. It’s just an unfortunate situation that we have to see a young man go away from two families that dearly loved this young man. He was really loved. He has two children that will miss him. They’ll never really get to see the young man that I knew Dashawn to be. But he’s looking over them, so that’s a positive. We’re gonna always keep Dashawn lifted. We love you. You’ll never be forgotten. And whatever it is, Dashawn, we will get to the bottom of it. Just know that we got your back, just like you had our back.”


Roy Dunkins, Dashawn’s uncle: “He loved his family. Anything he could do for anybody, he would. He loved being around his family. All I can say is he’s a family oriented man. Everybody has their issues, but at the same time, he’s a good dude. He’s gonna be missed by his family. He’s loved by his family. Anybody that comes up against him: we want to come together as a family, as a team, and show them that just because one person makes one bad decision, that doesn’t mean that’s their whole life.”



Just a girlfriend…

This girl looked very young, at first I thought she was 15 or 16 (we have those age girls at the pod too and stop wondering why such a young girl are here with insignificant (not felony) misdemeanors in here with experienced criminals – but I’ll write about that next time).

She is 24 years old. Tomorrow is one of the worst days of her short life – the funeral of her boyfriend. He left this life one week ago, the same day that she got here. An overdose. No need to say that she wanted to be close to him one last time and say “goodbye” – at the very least. It didn’t happen. Mrs. Bell didn’t give her permission to go to the funeral, because she is not a wife, just a girlfriend. Anna and James (not their real names) were together for 7 years and have two daughters. They did love each other. When Anna learned that James died, she lost consciousness. Her grief is huge, and what’s with the combination of being in jail, just unbearably painful.

Her felony is not proven yet but she already must suffer from punishment being here. Plus one more punishment – lacking the very right to say “bye” to the one she loved only because she did not have official papers.

I know it’s a jail policy that you can only go to a funeral if you have an official connection. But it is still not normal and not human! But again – who cares – in their view, let the young widow suffer, if she is in jail, she must deserve it!


– F. L.

“Yes, this is medical neglect”

My name is _____. I come from New Jersey. Been in Durham 40 plus years. My parents are deceased. My mother passed here in Durham 7 years ago. I come from a family of 5. I am the middle child: 2 sisters younger, 2 brothers older. Me and my brother been in and out of jail and prison. We’re all locked up now. My oldest brother got 14 months and my other brother got about 2 years or less to go. So I am 47 and unemployed, but a jack-of-all-trades, master of none!!! I applaud what you’re doing and if I was free I would be standing beside you.

I am in here for a number of charges. My first violent crimes. I had gave up on the world a long time ago. But out of 47 years, this was the first time in my life that I gave up on myself. I am not a violent person but my spirit was being pulled at my so very strong demons (stress). But I believe that things happen for a reason. But now I am in jail without the bail. …

I found out today that I’ve got some medical problems. Medical drew my blood and all they state to me is that I need to stop eating fatty food. But I been here since February and now my legs are swell and they do not wish to do nothing at this time but give me a pill for three weeks and an ice pack for my triglycerides count, which is 469 and should be 200 and below. I’ve got to wait even longer to start a diet here. The nurse said that “she would let the doctor know.” Okay, it will be Monday of next week before I hear anything. … Yes, this is medical neglect. Just to give me a pill that does nothing. Something donated to the jail.

I think your Feedback is on point, and I wish to further this, because I and others need to be heard.

The Sheriff race I do not have no information on any of the candidates, but I am unaffiliated. So I received a late ballet. It was too late by the time I received it. These people here at the jail had something to do why I got it so late. …

Thanks for everything from all in here that I tell about your stand and where you stand.

– The Ferret

“Our greed and pride is our downfall”

Hey man,

I’m glad you wrote back, letters are important in here. You spoke about things being fair. I wish! Not only for me but the countless others. The most bizarre thing is this, humanity as a whole has the means and knowledge to provide for one another in such a way that none should lack much of anything. The great wealth combined with the knowledge we have is more than capable to provide solutions for the problems of poverty and great oppression that we as a world all share. Our greed and pride is our downfall, our world leaders are blind to these things and ideals. They seem to care more about how powerful their nation is rather than look to the true needs of a people that they swear an oath to provide and protect. They spend trillions and billions of dollars on military arsenal to “protect” a nation that needs protection from ourselves. Drugs, violence, hunger, shelter, and clothing are on the backlist that is ever growing. We worry about weapons of mass destruction yet we are destroyed within our own lands. I wonder if our leaders think about the addict that is only addicted because he wishes to drown the pain of abuse they suffered. Do they see or think about the homeless that are hidden by the shadows cast by the wealthy as they pass them without even a word or hint of empathy? What about the single mom with four kids of all ages, who can’t work because she has no money to pay for the daycare. She is stuck with minimal food stamps, no transportation, and low income housing in a high crime area. Do they see her tears at night when she cries for her little ones? I am in amazement at all of this, so when I start to think my situation is bad I’m humbled at the lives of others that share the struggle.

I did not mean to get as deep as I just did, but I’ve lived my life in a lot of these situations. When I was homeless, I was also an addict. I was a shadow, no one saw me. I do have to admit some people showed me kindness, and I’m grateful. But mostly I was a shadow, at 3 am I remember digging through a garbage can looking for food and was happy to find a “McDonalds” bag with a half-eaten hamburger and a few cold fries. I would shoplift clothes, hygiene, food, even my drug.

You see, I was a huffer, and I huffed “spraypaint”. My life was hell, mostly it was just sad and I would get high to forget and dull the pain. I knew I had a problem, but to get real help cost money or you had to have insurance. I didn’t have anything. Some nights I would just cry. I did bullshit crimes, like, B&E “Breaking and Entering”. I wouldn’t even steal anything, then I’d go to jail or prison. The cycle continued.

It was all I knew. Success was something that I knew not, but it was easy to fail, so fail I did. I didn’t even know I had mental health problems, but all & all, today I’m a better person. My mind is way different and set on a better future. So. . .

You asked about the mental health pod. Well, we do some fun things sometimes, like we play bingo for prizes on Friday, or we do arts and crafts. We have cards, checkers, chess, Uno cards. Other than that it’s still jail. It’s also a lower population than the other blocks so it is a lot less stressful to me, anyway. I have anxiety and paranoia, the pod is still new and they say more things will come down the line.

You also asked what things IOA could do for us to make it better in here. Support is major knowing someone is thinking about you. That’s why I was talking about mail, that’s also why I asked for more people to write. That’s just me though, I’d like to meet more people and network a little.

Another big thing I know a lot of guys don’t get is money. It’s hard to sit around and watch all the guys that get canteen when it comes and they eat cookies, honey buns, candy, etc. And plus the hygiene they give you is shitty and they have deodorant and other products on canteen. They also have a care package you can send inmates at i-caregifting.com. It’s just something that I know guys struggle with. I know I do, who don’t like a snack once in a while. I’m sure you heard of how shitty the food is (haha).

Well man, I guess this is it until next time. . .

Wallace Eubanks

Give us freedom or in God we Trust

Hello P,

This is D, whom you wrote to through Inside-Outside Alliance. I wanted to express my thankfulness for your concern, I am humbled. This is very overwhelming at times and I thank God for a loving family. I have lost a lot of things, relationships, time, sleep – but God has sent some people right when you need it. When you allow the devil or arrogance to make bad decisions, to me, I can’t blame anyone. Being black or poor does not make you lose freedom, peace, family and love. Life is a decision (sin).

No complaints, but I am very thankful. The sheriff is in need of replacement (just like the dead, over-priced batteries that Commissary sells). Sheriffs can’t rise people but he can allow the Life Skills program (taught by the Durham Literacy Council) to be open to all the jail and the program for youth offenders and recovery to be jail-wide, something else beside STAR for recovery from drugs, poor decisions, sex, anger, etc…Instead of being like Thomas Clayton (TomTom), who admitted to nothing but crime. Also, during this election, don’t forget the District Attorney (who has to go even though is black), like a true hypocrite who doesn’t benefit anyone righteous except their self. With a 90 percent conviction rate, 5 years to TomTom of being there but 2 years without concrete involvement, give us freedom or in God we Trust….Devil and his lawyers with a waiting game to convict, or be censored in the process by GlobalTel (what, can I get a contact with God for good behavior?)

Pray you preach that,

Hope to hear more,

D. Q.