Life choices and decisions

the following is from someone in a state prison but who was assaulted by c.o.s in Durham this past February. It was not his choice to have his head slammed into a wall by officer Coleman, nor was it his decision to face severe medical problems since then. 

All of these choices and decisions cost me time in prison without thinkin about what I was doin! The things that I chose to do were wrong, but it felt right, me myself, my choice was to become a gangbanger which I am, —, that’s the gang I’m running with, but everything has changed now, specially me coming to Durham County.

Back in February, I went back to Durham County Jail to get a charge dismissed and it did get dismissed. I was processing in 3A cell 19A. I went upstairs to 5A on the 10th, everything was fine and gucci, that Tuesday night C.O. Burden was working the pod. It was 10:45 pm and it was time to lock back, alright we locked back, but I was trying to get a book from the dude next to my cell I was in 35A… It was another dude up there gettin a book too from the same dude I was getting one from. He stayed down stairs on the first floor, I’m on the 2nd floor, she ain’t say nothin to him, she wait and say somethin to me after I get the book aight, so boom, she come upstairs to get the book, i don’t give it to her. She walk off talking shyt so I say ‘say something else and ima turn up on yo shyt, so she said something else. I started kicking the door. The door was tightly shut, but as I started kicking, the door started to come open a little bit! So, the DERT (detention emergency response team) team came in, all 4 of them: C.O. Coleman, C.O. Burden, C.O. Statton, and C.O. Harris. They all came in my cell tellin me to sit on my bunk so I sat down on my bunk, Sgt. Holloway and Sgt. Miggit come 2-steppin in the cell, they ask me what’s goin on and I told her wassup. C.O. Burden come in screamin talkin shyt, then Sgt. Holloway started talkin shyt! So I start talkin shyt to everybody that was in the cell with me!! I’m callin them pigs, fake ass police, bitchazz cops, so Sgt. Holloway say ‘he checkin off y’all,’ so I say word on my kids I ain’t checkin shyt off, so she say ‘shut the fuck up,’ and I say to her, ‘Fuck you, bitch,’ then that’s when they put the handcuffs on me and took me down the stairs out the pod! And right when they got me out the pod C.O. Coleman slammed my head into the wall then they jumped on me from there. They split my eye open and I have damage to my right eye and I gonna get a lawsuit against them fuck niggas! Oh, and after they took me to the hole, I told them Ima catch them on the rebound when I come home from prison! And then I came back to the county a second time, because they ain’t bring me to court the first time. When they brought me back that second time they dismissed all my charges, but I still came back to prison on my robbery charges and the probation violation!

Everyday that I sat in the Durham County Jail, the officers that did the beating on me would not, I repeat, would not look me in my face at all or look me in my eyes, that’s how p— these fake-ass police is out here! But my choice and decision is now to still be a part of my nation which is —- gang! But to stay away from people that ain’t got shyt on their minds, this is to my brothers that are locked up right now as I am, and to the ones that are free right now!! Still be a part of your nation! It don’t matter if you blood, crip, LK, VL, it don’t matter about none of that it matters about stayin outta jail and prison and makin good decisions for yourself and for your future. At the end of the day we are our own man and woman, we got one mind and a lot, thousand choices and decisions to make for our self and future. People don’t really look at it like dat! But me as a blood and as a grown ass man with one mind and one life I take shyt real serious. In life God took me through things to change what I was doin, and how I was doin it. He put me in prison to do a lot of changin and lookin at my life! This is a promise that I’m makin to the community and to my kids that I made. I’m puttin back into the community and give back what I have taken from them!

But that will never change what I am or what I bang! I gangbang to protect my people and my nation!! I don’t do it for fun, I do it to keep the police off our asses. Look at:

Rodney King

Malcolm X

Dr. King

Harriet Tubman

Rosa Parks

But look at these people these are the people who fought for us to have freedom in the United States of America. Look at Biggie Smalls and Damn Tupac Shakur. These men died

Over beef they had goin, but at the end of the day they made history with their music! That’s what people need to take to the head—it’s so many ways to make history, but me as a blood I don’t wanna make history by bein a gang member to the —-, but do it by forcing on my goals and my future and the country. Yea I shoot, I bang gunz, but I still believe in doing the right thang, I been through it, I lost my mother back in 2012 March 12 8 am. It was on a Monday I found her dead with my kids in the house! Some people don’t know what it’s like to wake up and find their parents dead, I do but you as young adults got to look at it as a warning from God. I know I have. God wants us to do better and be better people to everybody, but be careful of the decisions and choices you make.

My Durham County citizens ask yourself this: What do you think is the point of jail or prison?? As yourself that because now that I’m in prison I ask myself that all the time, and I ask other people and they said to put us back into modern slavery. Which is true, but also ask yourself this: why should you get into trouble? To come to the county jail or prison? And do you know why the police fuck wit us so hard, because we are Black and how street niggas dress with our pants half way off our azzez that’s why they fuck wit us so hard. But ask y’all selfs these questions and answer them.

P.S. I myself don’t wear my pants off my ass no more ain’t no gotdamn way what if you want to get a job somewhere they don’t want to see yo asses at all!!

P.S.S. to all my young adults: Respect your elderly and keep your pants on yo asses J

Keep your head up and stay strong for your nation.

Because you can be where I’m sittin as I speak in prison doin a 3-year bid as I speak, to all my brothers and sisters I am doin a 3-year bid, I been down 2 years now, I’ll be home this comin February 2015. This to all my brothers Peace bloods to all my eastside homies.

I am a bl80d/freedom writer. IOA I support you all the way 100%. Keep me tuned in. Yours truly, Deandre

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