What’s up, —?
I am reading Dead or Alive by Tom Clancy, great book. It has me thinking how small and powerless I really am in the bigger picture of this world. It also has me thinking about how the basically innocent are at the mercy of the evil. I sound dumb right now pointing out the obvious, but it’s that in particular it’s on my mind. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to be part of the problem but part of the solution. I just start thinking it’s all a conspiracy and that I’m out of the loop and really everyone is evil and selfish. I wish I could be aware of how man works. I believe this is why I am so fascinated with psychology as if it were the key that would help me know what to do (to put me into the loop of things). These are my inner workings and they are written only for me to see how unsure of anything I really am. I don’t know if I’m making sense, I just wish I didn’t have this illness. March 17 is my next court date. I think they will decide when my trial will be at that time.
Anyway, they let us out at 9 am again now. I don’t know if you all had something to do with that. Red blotches started appearing on my body (and) medical brushes me off with anti-itch cream (they don’t itch) and as of now A and D ointment (it’s not a rash); they are just red. I thought it could be serious.
D. I. Q.