Pleading to enter oblivion

What’s goodie 2 shoes lol,

I am diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder they just now put a label on it after 5 years since I first sought mental health help. Please look up my illness and get informed as to how casual (as if it’s not so serious) they make it seem. I was 15 then and when the fiery pitch black torture of what makes D different from the animals got to the point where I couldn’t bear any longer and the ultimate victim (me) snapped when I was 20. I have been in and out of mental hospitals and I suppose you just fill ’em full of meds for a few weeks then send them right out without any compassion or any informing the patient of what his illness is. It’s not their problem, I suppose, it’s only what they’re paid to do (sarcasm). The bigger picture is how fucked homosapien really is.

My lawyer says she is not a doctor so what is the judicial system doing when they judge the ill–they aren’t doctors, either. I realize the problem is more complicated than one thinks, but I guess since we are subhuman (just like whites thought blacks were, just like hitler though jews were, just like a cannibal looks at his fellow man) it is alright to do the most heinous things and not really try to change with the problem.

It’s ok though I get mental health help here in jail (sarcasm). Whatever they do here is a waste of taxpayer money. This is the biggest joke I have seen. Don’t tell the mental health people this because they might lock me in a room, take all my clothes and let me freeze for some nights, but I think I’m better off dead.

Me the ultimate victim thrown in with the baddest of the bad where sodomizing is a sport way to treat the sick. Come on, let’s throw senile grandpa in here, too, matter of fact let’s throw cancer patients and HIV/AIDs patients in here, too. I mean, we’ve got to at least keep it real folks.

In the end people are monsters and unless you can defend yourself then get ready for pain, screaming til your lungs bleed, pleading to enter oblivion.

D. I. Q.

Awaiting…Hoping…Struggling…

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